They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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