Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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