Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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