Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize