Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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