I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just tell him i said nine months
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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