it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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