Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my phone needs a breathalizer
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize