No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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