Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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