My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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