Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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