we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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