My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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