Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize