Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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