Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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