; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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