and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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