I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize