I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize