Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize