Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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