hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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