Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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