so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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