I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize