dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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