So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
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my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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