Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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