I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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