you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize