Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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