i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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