Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize