You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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