At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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