y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize