Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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