I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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