yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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