Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize