so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize