I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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