are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize