you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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