Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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