You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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