I can tuck mytits in my pants
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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