my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize